God does work for our benefit. He really, really does.

God really does work for your benefit. He really does. Here's why:

Tomorrow, it will be 5 weeks since my daughter broke out in hives. It has been a very hard 5 weeks. She was miserable. Her whole body was covered in hives and no matter what we did or what medication we gave her, they still continued and she continued to scratch. I cleaned my house very deeply, eliminating most dust, pet dander, and more. I changed our laundry soap and washed and rewashed everything I could think of. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. Nothing helped. She continued to break out and it made me feel like a failure. She had nights when she would wake up, itchy and crying. She wanted relief so badly and I couldn't give it to her fast enough. I wanted to cry too. I did when she wasn't watching.

Monday we saw an allergist. He asked me tons of questions, all of which I said no to. He told me I wasn't giving him anything to go on for allergies, but it was a good thing. Then I handed him pictures of my daughter at her worst with the hives and he knew right away what was going on. He told me that hives that cover the whole body and last so long like this are not an allergic reaction. Hives that form from an allergic reaction come and go when the allergen is introduced, but don't stick around like hers did. They also have certain spots that they appear, but not all over the body. He told me that her immune system is overreacting to the cold she got shortly after she got the hives; that her body knew it was sick and tried very strongly to fight it, but instead attacked itself and didn't win against the cold. It is an auto-immune response.

When the allergist was talking with me about the medications my daughter would need to be on to trick her immune system into thinking she was all better so it would stop producing the hives, he was talking with me about the dosage of a medication she had already been on. I took one look and told him that it was wrong. Here's where I know that God works for our benefit. The dose that was originally prescribed for her was one fifth of the dose that was actually needed. We could have stopped the hives a month ago when they first started. BUT, without the mistake, we would have never known that she was having an auto-immune response and not an allergy. I did speak with my doctor (who didn't prescribe the medication) about the mistaken dose and she said it was most likely a typo. She agreed with me that if the mistake hadn't been made, we probably wouldn't be aware of the auto-immunity today. It was a good mistake. It worked for our benefit. God knew that we needed to know. I don't know why yet, but I will someday.

My highly sensitive child

I found out a year ago that my little girl is a highly sensitive child. This means that emotions react more intensely in her brain. It is her brain turning her emotions into a physical reaction at times. She feels deeper than others. This discovery was hard on me, because I was hoping she would outgrow her intense emotions at some point. She won't. This is part of her. It is who my baby is.

Over the years, I've had many people comment on her. She has a fear of strangers, especially when they touch her.  Many people do not like that and get upset that she fears them. She cannot handle extremely loud noises. That's weird to some. Her intense emotions show when she's happy or excited and it comes off as overwhelming to some. When she cries, it takes a really long time for her to calm down. Anger and sadness lead to tears, and she cries longer and louder than other children. This comes off as fit throwing to many, and I've been told many times to stop spoiling her and giving in to get. I don't do either, but am accused of it. My daughter is strong-willed and determined and didn't like to be told no, but she gets it anyway and has had to learn to accept it as an answer.

Today, someone close to me admitted, "Your daughter pisses me off." I wanted so badly to tell them off! My daughter is 5! Whether she is highly sensitive or not, she is a child who behaves like a child. Yes, she's overwhelming. Believe me, I know. But she is a child who doesn't know exactly how to handle her intense feelings, whatever they are at the time. They overwhelm her. They take over her thought process. She requires a lot of patience.
My thought on my child pissing you off: you don't have to be around her. Amongst all of the criticism that I've received regarding my darling girl, this one hurt the most!

It hurts my mama heart to see my daughter looked down upon by others. She's different. She looks normal, but inside she is different and different apparently is not okay. I encourage her to learn from her emotions, to be able to handle them better. She will never stop feeding them so intensely. It is how her body is wired. But she can learn how to manage them. She's 5 though, and this will take a long time to perfect. She's different than you, and that's okay. So am I.